It is May of 2011 and I could not travel far down this Anatomy of My Divorce without expressing my deepest respect and honor for you. And my appreciation for the journey you shared with Glenn through your divorce from him.
As I discovered court papers left behind from his divorce with you, I do not believe he has changed much.
I want you to know that any comments made here regarding you are made from the perspective of what Glenn expressed to me or the courts about you.
In his doublespeak way, he used to portray the self respect you had for desiring to have well manicured hair, nails or make up as self-centered conceit. And as a waste of money for things which his family had no funds for.
He used to tell me that one of the things he admired about me was that I did not partake of these habits. So I find it funny that he is now with a person who is so involved with her appearance of beauty and nails that she has a mobile manicure business. Very ironic.
I want to thank you for showing me how to be graceful through the adversity of divorce. And for your kindness toward me all these years, maybe even while knowing that this day would come for me as well.
I remember on our first meeting how you asked if Glenn still had some of the same habits, and I had confessed even then that he had not changed. At that time, I was thinking that one man's trash is another man's treasure. But now I owe you an apology for being so foolish as to believe that I could do a better job of loving his 'foolish ways' out of him.
In retrospect I realize that I was a only another steward. Glenn is God's creation; no one can love Glenn better than He who created him. And that is where I leave him. - with God and the family that has known him much longer than I have.
-I apologize for any hardship caused when I chose to disregard my differences with Glenn regarding how much parents should invest to ensure that their children are able to fulfill their potential. I was silly enough to think that I could change it later.
Even more than the adults, I have always regretted the way Glenn's departure affected his children. Or maybe I should say how the way he departed affected his children. I'm sure that I don't know everything that occurred in that regard, due to Glenn's privacy preferences.
- But I do not believe in stepchildren, so I have regarded your children as if they were my own. If I can ever help them in any manner, I would be happy to do so. In some ways I feel even freer to do so now, now that I am not in a house divided in that respect.
I apologize that I relented and starting dating Glenn after he told me he had gotten legally separated. Now I am not even sure if that was true. Still, I should have held to my standards of not having anything to do with any man that was not single or ethically divorced! I wonder if he would have left your marriage if he had not already established a romantic relationship with me.
- I beg that you give me a little slack on that one though - because it was my sons behavior toward him, and my mother, who convinced me otherwise. - There are things about Glenn that my mother is probably still enamored with. Glenn can have some very endearing qualities, as you know.
To tell you the truth this is why, despite her outright disrespect toward the vows of marriage, I even give Dena a little slack. Because Glenn probably let himself become involved in an affair with her under the same sort of storyline he told me the night he met me. A story of being in a loveless marriage and just not being legally separated on paper yet. Initially, even as she pursued him in 2008, I can suppose that she had some reservation, seeing that she was married and he was married etc. etc... But I imagine that as they shared their affair with her family more openly over Memorial Day 2009, and then July Fourth 2009, and then on their trip to Hawaii in August of 2009 that her family became enamored with him. Just like my friends and family did when they met him.
- I place squarely on Glenn's shoulders and on his shoulder's only his decision to secretly court Dena, break his marriage vows, and abandon this family only after he had a love nest firmly established with Dena and her family.
This time though, I think Glenn may have finally found someone who shares his talents for holding their cards close to their chest and does not mind being an accomplice in doing so. That she has been complicit in pursuing and hiding an affair with a married man, a co-worker, all while she herself is also married may actually work in their favor. For they seem to share similar values.
Perhaps their mastery of secrecy, as well as the fact that she has no children for Glenn to contend with, will lend itself to a good many years together. I mean, in some ways, I think that in your marriage as well as mine, Glenn may have somehow felt compelled to replay his childhood pain of 'abandonment' that he probably felt as a teenager by abandoning his own children when they reached those same years.
As for me, I think it ironic that I settled on his legal separation rather than divorce papers, mainly because my children did not chase him away! Yet somehow, simply by becoming teenagers, they did eventually do just that. So I blame my sons for this whole mess!!
- You know, my friends used to insist that my sons needed a father. And I would rebuke them by saying that if they found me a eunuch, I would marry him. - So maybe you can appreciate my humor when I say that I've learned to be careful what I pray for. For Glenn left behind papers here which chronicled to the court the demise of his 'loveless marriage" to you. And if what he wrote to court has some truth, then in many respects, my marriage to him was very similar to yours. And it is interesting to think that his history has repeated itself. And I ask you to extend mercy to me, as a woman who has been where I am at.
Please be assured that I did encourage Glenn, even in the midst of your divorce and our marriage to respect and honor you as the woman he had spent over half his life with. And also to be gracious and generous to you as the mother of his two children. I never quite understood his bitterness about providing you with retirement funds, after you had been married for 18 years. Even now finding myself in the same situation after 13 years, I still don't understand it.
For what it is worth, know that when I did start talking to Glenn, he was very adamant and proud about the fact that in all the years of being married to you, he had never cheated on you. And he refused to start doing so with me. Which of course, only made him seem so much more honorable a man at the time. Now, whether it is true or not I have no idea. But I envy you for the fact that he did not even try to hold to the same standard with me.
And in my letters here, I have no idea nor is it relevant whether you held to your vows of marriage or not. I only reference what Glenn said, trying to make the point with him that he cannot use the same accusations against me as I did not have regular manicures or hair appointments, etc. And there was a particular airport incident which he just had to let me know he was replaying in reverse; a if hurting me at an airport somehow helped him feel better about it.
Believe me, I have learned to love myself more through this affair, being sure now to follow your example and make time for the things that help a woman feel good about herself. Wish I had done it a lot earlier!!!
And I admire and respect you even more, as a woman who has been where I am standing.
I hope that should we meet again, that we will share a laugh yet again that Glenn is Glenn. Good and bad, like the rest of us.
Just an old owlie is what a girlfriend of mine used to call him; perched and quietly stalking around in the dark. Honestly, if it hadn't been for her, I think my marriage to Glenn might have ended even sooner!
One day I hope to be allowed and able to join in on the efforts to maintain the heritage of the land that Glenn grew up in. For I fell in love with it during my time there.
Thank you for all you have done for me, my children, and my family throughout the years, just by being the beautiful person -inside and out - that you are.
My apologies again for any and all suffering of yours that I contributed to.
I wish you and yours the best, always.
As I discovered court papers left behind from his divorce with you, I do not believe he has changed much.
I want you to know that any comments made here regarding you are made from the perspective of what Glenn expressed to me or the courts about you.
In his doublespeak way, he used to portray the self respect you had for desiring to have well manicured hair, nails or make up as self-centered conceit. And as a waste of money for things which his family had no funds for.
He used to tell me that one of the things he admired about me was that I did not partake of these habits. So I find it funny that he is now with a person who is so involved with her appearance of beauty and nails that she has a mobile manicure business. Very ironic.
I want to thank you for showing me how to be graceful through the adversity of divorce. And for your kindness toward me all these years, maybe even while knowing that this day would come for me as well.
I remember on our first meeting how you asked if Glenn still had some of the same habits, and I had confessed even then that he had not changed. At that time, I was thinking that one man's trash is another man's treasure. But now I owe you an apology for being so foolish as to believe that I could do a better job of loving his 'foolish ways' out of him.
In retrospect I realize that I was a only another steward. Glenn is God's creation; no one can love Glenn better than He who created him. And that is where I leave him. - with God and the family that has known him much longer than I have.
-I apologize for any hardship caused when I chose to disregard my differences with Glenn regarding how much parents should invest to ensure that their children are able to fulfill their potential. I was silly enough to think that I could change it later.
Even more than the adults, I have always regretted the way Glenn's departure affected his children. Or maybe I should say how the way he departed affected his children. I'm sure that I don't know everything that occurred in that regard, due to Glenn's privacy preferences.
- But I do not believe in stepchildren, so I have regarded your children as if they were my own. If I can ever help them in any manner, I would be happy to do so. In some ways I feel even freer to do so now, now that I am not in a house divided in that respect.
I apologize that I relented and starting dating Glenn after he told me he had gotten legally separated. Now I am not even sure if that was true. Still, I should have held to my standards of not having anything to do with any man that was not single or ethically divorced! I wonder if he would have left your marriage if he had not already established a romantic relationship with me.
- I beg that you give me a little slack on that one though - because it was my sons behavior toward him, and my mother, who convinced me otherwise. - There are things about Glenn that my mother is probably still enamored with. Glenn can have some very endearing qualities, as you know.
To tell you the truth this is why, despite her outright disrespect toward the vows of marriage, I even give Dena a little slack. Because Glenn probably let himself become involved in an affair with her under the same sort of storyline he told me the night he met me. A story of being in a loveless marriage and just not being legally separated on paper yet. Initially, even as she pursued him in 2008, I can suppose that she had some reservation, seeing that she was married and he was married etc. etc... But I imagine that as they shared their affair with her family more openly over Memorial Day 2009, and then July Fourth 2009, and then on their trip to Hawaii in August of 2009 that her family became enamored with him. Just like my friends and family did when they met him.
- I place squarely on Glenn's shoulders and on his shoulder's only his decision to secretly court Dena, break his marriage vows, and abandon this family only after he had a love nest firmly established with Dena and her family.
This time though, I think Glenn may have finally found someone who shares his talents for holding their cards close to their chest and does not mind being an accomplice in doing so. That she has been complicit in pursuing and hiding an affair with a married man, a co-worker, all while she herself is also married may actually work in their favor. For they seem to share similar values.
Perhaps their mastery of secrecy, as well as the fact that she has no children for Glenn to contend with, will lend itself to a good many years together. I mean, in some ways, I think that in your marriage as well as mine, Glenn may have somehow felt compelled to replay his childhood pain of 'abandonment' that he probably felt as a teenager by abandoning his own children when they reached those same years.
As for me, I think it ironic that I settled on his legal separation rather than divorce papers, mainly because my children did not chase him away! Yet somehow, simply by becoming teenagers, they did eventually do just that. So I blame my sons for this whole mess!!
- You know, my friends used to insist that my sons needed a father. And I would rebuke them by saying that if they found me a eunuch, I would marry him. - So maybe you can appreciate my humor when I say that I've learned to be careful what I pray for. For Glenn left behind papers here which chronicled to the court the demise of his 'loveless marriage" to you. And if what he wrote to court has some truth, then in many respects, my marriage to him was very similar to yours. And it is interesting to think that his history has repeated itself. And I ask you to extend mercy to me, as a woman who has been where I am at.
Please be assured that I did encourage Glenn, even in the midst of your divorce and our marriage to respect and honor you as the woman he had spent over half his life with. And also to be gracious and generous to you as the mother of his two children. I never quite understood his bitterness about providing you with retirement funds, after you had been married for 18 years. Even now finding myself in the same situation after 13 years, I still don't understand it.
For what it is worth, know that when I did start talking to Glenn, he was very adamant and proud about the fact that in all the years of being married to you, he had never cheated on you. And he refused to start doing so with me. Which of course, only made him seem so much more honorable a man at the time. Now, whether it is true or not I have no idea. But I envy you for the fact that he did not even try to hold to the same standard with me.
And in my letters here, I have no idea nor is it relevant whether you held to your vows of marriage or not. I only reference what Glenn said, trying to make the point with him that he cannot use the same accusations against me as I did not have regular manicures or hair appointments, etc. And there was a particular airport incident which he just had to let me know he was replaying in reverse; a if hurting me at an airport somehow helped him feel better about it.
Believe me, I have learned to love myself more through this affair, being sure now to follow your example and make time for the things that help a woman feel good about herself. Wish I had done it a lot earlier!!!
And I admire and respect you even more, as a woman who has been where I am standing.
I hope that should we meet again, that we will share a laugh yet again that Glenn is Glenn. Good and bad, like the rest of us.
Just an old owlie is what a girlfriend of mine used to call him; perched and quietly stalking around in the dark. Honestly, if it hadn't been for her, I think my marriage to Glenn might have ended even sooner!
One day I hope to be allowed and able to join in on the efforts to maintain the heritage of the land that Glenn grew up in. For I fell in love with it during my time there.
Thank you for all you have done for me, my children, and my family throughout the years, just by being the beautiful person -inside and out - that you are.
My apologies again for any and all suffering of yours that I contributed to.
I wish you and yours the best, always.